CHRISTMAS AS AN ADOPTIVE DAD//

There are things that just change the way you live…
Moving, new jobs, getting married…
These are change a lot of things, but kids… seem to have the power beyond them all.

I’d always wanted to be a dad, but 12 months about I had no idea what it would actually mean.
Sure I expected the snotty noses, sleepless nights, and (my personal favorite) sniffing a little kid’s butt to see if he’s pooped his pants.
But, I had no idea the joy I’d experience.  As a self-professed grinch at the holidays… the joy I’ve experienced this season because of this boy, has floored me.

My mother-in-law told me about a story that she read yesterday from the perspective of Joseph, Jesus’ earthy father.  In it, she said that he was stressing about all of the implications it meant for him to take a pregnant Mary as his wife.  And, in the moment when the Shepherds came running in to the stable saying, “This angel just told us about a baby that would be laying in a manger and HE’s the son of GOD!” Joseph let out a HUGE sigh of relief because others now knew this “secret” that he had been carrying.

But, it surely didn’t stop there for him.  We don’t know much more about how Joseph handled himself through this.  We know that he worked.  We know that he raised Jesus well.  Obviously, GOD trusted him… which speaks volumes about what there is to know about Jesus.

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I’d love to ask Joseph some questions:
Did Jesus’ poop stink?
Did HE ever throw temper tantrums?
Did Jesus talk back?  Did you spank HIM?  Did HE ever need to be paddled?
Did HE ever ask, “Why?”

More than anything I’d love to hear his story.  Adoptive dad to adoptive dad.  1 on 1.  So many of our stories are similar.  And, when we realize that we connect over them, we grow together.

I think there’s a special love that we experience as adoptive parents that biological/birth parents can’t truly get.  It’s hard to explain.
It’s a connection to our Creator who adopts us back into HIS family through Jesus… there’s a rescue there… there’s just a difference.

I think that’s why GOD had Jesus’ earthy father be an adoptive dad and a step-dad.  It helps us… er, me… see the beauty that can come from the mess of a blended family.  Normal families are great, but “different” families are great, too!  It’s a very inclusive point, HE’s making here!

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So, as Angie, Isaac, and I sat down this week to celebrate Christmas in MANY ways, we started with where it all began.
We read of Jesus’s birth and adoption.
We paused and remembered that GOD’s plan is greater… as cliche as it is.
We experienced the joy of a child.
Together.
A family.

Merry Christmas!

+PJ, ANGIE & ISAAC

POWERFUL STORIES//

I love stories.
I think you can’t really know a person without knowing their stories.
I have a story.
I tell it every time I write here.
You have a story.
Every time you read mine you chose if you make it part of yours.
That means that WE have stories.

These are two good friends of mine.
They shared their stories for us at Crosspoint this past Sunday.
Here are their stories:

These are the stories that shape us.
These are the stories that make me believe in rescue, redemption, and restoration.
These stories make me believe in change.
These stories affect me.

How do they affect you?

+PJT

SOOTHING SOUNDS AT CHRISTMAS//

So yesterday, just like every Monday Isaac stays with me as I work from home.
This is what happened:

 

+PJT

TO READ ON THANKSGIVING//

I read THIS POST today.
I tweet/re-post Los’ stuff pretty regularly.
But, to read this today… on Thanksgiving was simply outstanding.

GOD, let me never forget just how truly faithful You are…

+ PJT

THE ART OF CHANGE//

So, we entered a new phase in life last week.
Isaac started rolling over last week.  He was starting to make us nervous not showing much interest in it all then someone flipped a switch and he’s everywhere now.  Literally over night he figured out all directions: left & right, front to back, back to front.

CRAZINESS.

Also, this holiday season at Crosspoint, we’re poking fun at the messy sides of what happens during the holidays, but we’re also taking a really pointed look at what it means for Jesus to MESS with our lives. It’s something that I think we tend to gloss over in our American understanding of church. We think that we accept Jesus “in to our hearts” and we’re good.

+ But, there’s SO MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THAT!

Last week I had a conversation with a missionary friend of mine who said something to the effect of, “We as Americans have screwed up the concept of redemption. We’ve made it about perfectionism over accepting grace for our brokenness. But, then we let the pendulum swing the other way and we say that it’s OK that I have issues and take it as a ‘get out of jail free’ card on sinning. So, we’re screwed either way.”

We do screw things up quite a bit, don’t we?
It’s important that we accept our shit…
But it’s also important that we work through it…
And are attempting to get better.

+ This is where my brain has been the last few weeks.

@curt_walters teachings for @xptonline of “Safety Is Not An Option” and saying “if you’re staying stagnate (not moving and changing) then you’re dying” has hit me pretty heavy the last few weeks.

1.  So, how do you deal with change?
2.  Are you different than you were a year ago?
3.  How are you changing?
4.  What kind of mess has Jesus made in your life lately?

FOR ME:

1.  I love change.  It fuels me.  I hate being the same.
2.  I’m a dad now.  It makes me want to be a better person.
3.  I can be arrogant.  I know you know.  Now stop laughing.  It’s mostly overcompensation for my own feelings of insecurity.  It’s a constant refinement process.  It’s something I work at everyday.
4.  I like to be in control. I know you know.  Now stop laughing!  My dad says I come by it naturally.  But, of late, I’m watching Jesus move more in my lack of control.  Jesus works me over for thinking that sin is something to avoid completely on my own.  I judge myself harshly and project it onto others.  Jesus doesn’t do that to me or others… and that’s just to name a few…

How bout you?

+PJT

AND…//

So, you know those days when you’re super-psyched about what you have planned.
Work, school, family time, whatever…
Then it kind of goes south…
Sucks doesn’t it.

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This morning @xptonline we had one of those moments… er … hours.  It was tough to stomach, but logistically, it was just one of our worst services ever.
Nothing worked.
Videos…  ziltch.
Hip-hop beat worked in with bass drum sub drops and 80′s synths… out of whack.
Groovy transitions to heighten anticipation while keeping a sense of fun… not too groovy.
Verbal transitions and prayers to bring moments of reflection and thought… nothing.
And, we were baptizing today.  Things should be PERFECT for that.

But, then 2nd hour was like clock work.
Videos worked via back up plans.
Hip-hop beats, drops, synths worked like a charm (including me wearing lime green DJ headphones).
It all just worked.
The fun came back.
It was almost like we were too focused before.  Too stressed.  Too concerned about what we wanted it to be.
It was fun.  We let go.  We trusted this time.

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And, we baptized today.  To me it’s the biggest human decision ever celebrated in the church and I always approach it VERY heavy.  It’s an exciting thing and to forget the weight of the moment, the anticipation of the decision, and the grace found just beneath the surface of the pool would be tragic.

But, we do.  I do.  I get caught up in details and can forget the spirit of the moment not to mention the movement of the Spirit… and things go wrong.

It always seems the moments when things go horribly wrong are those moments when GOD moves the most.

Then I got this text from a friend:
“Despite tech difficulties: sound, voices, and service as a whole was effective first hour.  May u worship even as you lead others!”

And, we did.  Not just because things went right the second time.
But, because GOD moved today.
And, we got to see it… be a part of it.
We saw life change today.

And…

It was a good day.

+ PJT

CREATIVITY… WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

So, I sat this morning in a “finding your sweet spot in ministry” seminar hosted by a friend of a friend.

Biggest thing I took out of it: I’m in my sweet spot.
In fact, I’m about as dead centered in it as I think I could possibly be.
Sometimes I joke with one of my friends that my job description is, “to be creative.”
It’s not that far off.  And, I LOVE IT!
What a HUGE joy to experience: to be excited about what you do!

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The 3 biggest things that he laid out for us were that to serve in your sweet spot, you have to:

1.  Know what you’re personally deeply passionate about: Your hearts desire, so to speak.
2. Know what your strengths and weaknesses are… and be OK with them.
3.  What your mission is: what you do that bring significance and impact.

To find out what we were passionate about he asked to us answer 7 questions:

1.  What do I thing about?
2.  What do I sing about?
3.  What do I dream about?
4.  What do I get excited about?
5.  What do I care about?
6.  What would I suffer for?
7.  What do I cry about?

Here are my answers:

1.  Music, art, freedom
2.  Music, art, freedom, rescue, life change
3.  Creating, music, life change, joy
4.  Creating,  connecting creativity with life & faith, beauty,
5.  People, excellence, connection, creativity
6.  Family, people, truth, innovation, change, freedom, creativity
7.  Freedom, change, movement, be a distraction from GOD’s movement

He then asked us to lay out a few strengths and weaknesses, honestly I might add.
STRENGTHS:  Creativity, Leadership, Teachability/learning, seeing the big picture, and connection with people.
WEAKNESSES:  Administration, patience, teaching, holding others to my personal expectations, money management

Then he asked us to tell him what we were called to do by sharing our personal MISSION statement.
I’ve written one before, but I it’s been YEARS.  I couldn’t remember it, so I took to writing a new one.
Here’s the rough draft:

I will partner with GOD creatively and uniquely.
I will share the joy and struggles of life with Angie and I will raise what children come into our home with integrity and character.
I will sing HIS praises when I open my mouth.
I will shout for JOY.
I, whom HE has redeemed.

THOUGHTS?

+PJT

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

From the Towles

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, ROB BELL, & MY OWN BROKEN SOUL//

About 3.5 hours ago, Angie and I walked out of the movie theater having just seen Where the Wild Things Are. For some reason, maybe because it’s the story of a little boy’s wild imagination, I connect with this story. He gets in trouble, is sent to bed without his supper (a horror that no boy should ever endure, but I’m sure my son will at some point – Angie disagrees), and in order to escape the anger within his own soul he imagines a wild place with wild things that threaten him and he tames by his own mettle to only be drawn home by the alluded apologies of his mother leaving his dinner still warm on a table for him. The apology is shown most tenderly in the last line of the book “And it was still hot.”

I enjoyed the movie but felt a little in the dark as the first 10 minutes of the film had no sound… the supposed monitor of the film from the video booth had apparently not been there… it was awesome, let me tell you. Also, I wouldn’t recommend it for kids… at all. The giant dancing animatronic bears and gorillas at Showbiz Pizza used to send me under the table in a crying fit (ask Kathy, our daycare provider) so the movie surely would have brought me to tears and hiding under the chairs on the sticky floor.

It did, however, brilliantly convey the sense of working through remorse and guilt. I’ve always been a guilty kid. The guilt of being bad was worse to me than getting caught. [SPOILER] Max learns this lesson in the film by watching relationships deteriorate between the WILD THINGS from his “back and forth” attitude in his “kingship.” He feels remorse. You can see the guilt in his face as he begins the journey home and receives the love he felt he missed from his mom as he reenters the house.

I connect with Max.

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After we got home, I sat down to read Rob Bell’s Drops Like Stars. It didn’t even take me 2 hours to read. The picture above comes from page 115. The entire book is a series of reflections on creativity and suffering. How suffering brings us together. How creativity can so regularly be spawned from suffering.

How many songs we listen to come out of suffering? A thought he delves into as well.

In the pages surrounding page 115, Bell tells a story of a ceramics class that was split into two groups.

One to be graded on quantity of work produced.
One to be graded on the quality of one piece.

The instructor found that the QUANTITY group overwhelming produced better art because the QUALITY group spent too much time theorizing and deciding what to do rather than just doing and learning from their mistakes.

A damaged creation creates more creation.

Likewise, the above picture shows how Native American rug makers leave imperfections because this is “where they believe the spirit enters.”

A damaged creation has room for the Spirit.

We’re all damaged. GOD wants us to admit it and move on. There’s a moment where we all connect when we recognize and accept that we all have issues.

Because we do.

I connect with the rug.

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I focus on the little snags and cracks about myself.
Frustration from past mistakes and relationship hurts like Max.
Anger I feel over a situation unfolding in front of me at this very moment.

Yet, being damaged leaves room for GOD.

GOD wants us to admit that we’re banged up, broken down, and tired.
He rebuilds us.
He restores us.
He chooses us.

And, even when we run away in our anger… He leaves dinner on the table.

“And, it’s still hot.”

+ PJT

BEST BURGER EVER

A little more than six years ago the guys that stood up with me in our wedding and our dads all sat at this same restaurant and had the best burgers EVER.

And, now we’re back. We don’t come here often, but when we do, I always leave happy!

GOD bless Alfie’s!